Chris Ihidero Unedited: Chris Ihidero ‘Interviews’ Pastor Biodun

Culled from TheNetng.com
Good morning, Man of God. Thank you for finally
speaking on this issue sir.
’‘Welcome my brother, you are blessed. It is you I must
thank for being very open-minded about this whole
nonissue. I read your column last week and I must
confess Nigeria is lucky to have people like you who
still use their brain cells. The Lord be
praised.’‘Hallelujah.
So, where do we start from?
’‘Let us start from the beginning. Praise the
lord.’‘Hallelujah.
So, what was on your mind when you invited her to the
terrace of your hotel suite?
’‘That’s not the beginning. It all started when I saw
her in the congregation while preaching one Sunday;
she was very vibratory, especially when taken over by
the spirit doing praise and worship. Praise the lord.
The spirit ministered to me that she would be useful in
Pastoral Care. That was why I invited her to the unit.
And she was very useful. Praise the lord.’‘Hallelujah.
By ‘very useful’ you are talking about your affair with
her, right?
’‘No, we didn’t have an affair; we had an
understanding. Praise the lord. ‘
Really? Explain to me how that works, sir.
’‘Praise the lord. She understood that I am a Man of
God with a weakness. I understood that she was a
believer with an equal weakness. She understood that I
was a married man; I understood that she was a
willing woman. She understood that I could make her
no promises of forevermore; I understood that she
understood that by associating with me I would
introduce her to a level of grace she was previously
unaware of. ‘‘
Is this also the kind of understanding you had with
others that led to your suspension in Ilorin and the 130
women you have slept with?
’‘Lie! Big lie! One hundred and thirty?!!! Haba, how
could one man have done that, even with a never seen
before level of grace? They just want to give my dog a
bad name just to hang it. 120, I may accept, but 130?
Never. When it is not as if I have a spare mobile penis
that I charge with car charger. People should fear God
when saying some things o. Praise the lord.’ ‘
Let’s return to her story. So, what were your intentions
when you invited her to your hotel suite?
’‘Special deliverance, I swear. God sees my heart. I had
heard some uncomplimentary stuff about her and had
caught her looking at me somehow during Pastoral
Care Unit meetings, so I knew I had to intercede for her
to retain God’s glory in her life. Praise the lord. Even
when I asked her to come to the terrace it was so we
could get cool breeze during the deliverance. All was
well until she sat on my laps.’‘
What happened when she sat on your laps after you
invited her to do so?
’‘My weakness arose. And when we kissed…my
brother, do you eat seedless grapes? That’s what her
tongue tasted like, soft and succulent. What was I to
do? You people don’t know how hard it is to pastor a
Pentecostal church in Nigeria, especially in this Abuja!
You are there teaching the word of God and what do
you have before you? Gorgeous women with sly smiles;
with breasts, big and small, chiseled upon their chests
like those old wood carvings; lips like cherries; eyes
speaking to your soul, telling you their desires. Ah, until
you have walked in my shoes you are not qualified to
judge me. Praise the lord.’
‘Is it true you had sex with her everyday for seven
days?
’‘Zachariah 10. It’s a level of grace you can’t
understand.’‘Ask the Lord for rain in the spring for he
makes the storm clouds. And he will send showers of
rain so every field becomes a lush pasture.’‘You know
your bible. Praise the lord.’‘Hallelujah.
And what styles and positions were employed?
’‘One does not talk about such things but suffice to
say we were quite experimental, you know, those
things one doesn’t ask from a wife. Praise the lord.’‘
So I’m free to assume missionary wasn’t top of the
list?
’‘God forbid. Praise the lord. In fact, it was because of
experimentation that we had our first quarrel.’‘
Really? What happened?
’‘She wanted me to use my silk ties to tie one of her
legs to the door knob and the other to the window…I
thought that was too much of a spread so I declined
and she took offence. It was during round 4 on Day 7.
Praise the lord.’‘
You know sir, each time you say ‘Praise the lord’, what
I hear is Praise the Rod. It seems to me that you
spend more time doing the rod’s work than you do
doing the lord’s work.
’‘Who died and made you judge? Don’t make
proclamation about me if you don’t want the wrath of
God. I’m a man of God, remember? Praise the lord.’‘
Is this also why you’ve refused to explain yourself to
your congregation?
’‘They don’t need any explanation. They know me.’‘
We would have to end this interview on this note sir.
Thanks again for your time. By the way, I don’t know
your middle name?
It’s Roderick.’‘
Say what?
’‘Roderick.’‘
RODerick?
Perfect.‘Praise the Lord.’