‘Frank Edoho And I Should Never Have Gotten Married’ – Katherine Obiang

In a compelling exclusive interview with TheNetng, Who
Wants To Be A Millionaire’ host Frank Edoho's wife,
Katherine Obiang, who has three kids for the TV host
talked about her 7-year old marriage to Frank. How it
should never have been, how they should have rather
stayed friends.
How are your kids?
They are great.
And how are they taking the whole
divorce issue?
We are not really divorced. It’s still a work-in-progress
kind of thing but we are taking it well. When its time
for him to see the children, he does and when its time
to return them, he does. On my part, I
have carried the children along and make them
understand they are not stained because of it. I
wouldn’t want them to develop a complex because of
it. We didn’t design for these things to happen but they
do. It's like people who have lost their parents, they
didn’t plan for it but they have to move on. I watch
them and I think they are doing pretty okay especially
because we talk about it every time there is a reason
to.
You mentioned that you aren’t really
divorced. Does that suggest possibility
of reconciliation?
No, it doesn’t. We just started the process but there
isn’t any hope for reconciliation. We know we would
always be in each other’s lives because of the children,
so we have to be civil. When the children are getting
married for example, we have to hide our differences
and make it work.
What if he (Frank) came back, would
you consider it?
No. Three years have gone by. It will be a whole entire
process of knowing somebody all over again and I
don’t have the energy to do that. We’ve let it burn and
I don’t think he will do that.
Do you sometimes miss him?
He had such a great sense of humor. I don’t know if he
still does. His sense of music too, being a radio
presenter, and we used to exchange thoughts on things
regarding that, but otherwise, I don’t miss him in that
nostalgic way of…It’s a part of my life I have come to
terms with. I am a solution oriented person. He was
part of my life for more than 10 years (dated for four
years and got married for 7 years).
Looking back at everything, do you
wish you never got separated?
No, I think Frank and I should not have gotten married
in the first place. We should just have been friends
because he was an awesome friend. While I was dating
someone else and he had to go back to his country, he
(Frank) was there all through and I had known him all
the while he was in the University of Calabar and we
started our career together. I think we shouldn’t have
pushed it to marriage and just stayed as friends.
Any regrets about that?
No. I have three lovely kids to show for it and of
course, every thing happens for a reason and a
purpose. They can only make us better or stronger
people and it has done so for me. I have grown from
what went wrong.
What is usually the cause of the fight?
I think it's impatience, anger and not knowing how to
deal with issue in the now, so you react before you
think. It goes like, ‘huh, how dare you say this to me…
is that what you will say?’ I can’t remember any one in
particular, it has been long now, I have moved on and
it’s not a thing that can happen to me again but I
always say no matter what, a man should not raise his
hands on a woman. A woman should also not goad a
man too much. It takes nothing from the man who
walks away because once he hits a woman, he starts
to think it is justifiable. Unfortunately, we are in a
society where we have friends that will give you thumbs
up for doing that. A man should be calmer and not
react on the now.
Are you making efforts to ensure that
your son isn’t wrongly influenced by
this?
I have a son and I talk to him all the time. I let him
know he must be there to protect his sister. They
should look at him and feel safe with him and he
knows that. The girls also push him and I caution
them, so it’s a balance.
Were you hit by the rumors of his
recent marriage?
I didn’t want to believe he was because we are still
married (legally). We are not divorced, so I didn’t see
how that was possible and didn’t loose sleep over it.
I’m not asking him not to go on with his life but things
should be done properly. We are separated for three
years and now in the divorce process. If he found
happiness and love, then I’m happy for him.
Will you be trying your hands on
marriage again?
You just never know.
If you would, what kind of man would
he be?
You come to a point in your life where you can’t afford
to do things out of adrenaline but with great thought. It
would be a more mature person, someone who is calm
and has a fine sense of how life should be. Someone
who is mature, wise and seen life and the ways of the
world and knows what he is doing at every time.
When you think about all that has
happened, does it bring tears to your
eyes?
No, I feel a sense of disappointment instead especially
now when the children come home with questions that I
need a man to answer, if he (their father) were around.
For example, someone to be there for my son at a time
when he is writing his common entrance examination.
It’s a feeling of disappointment, but you know, we have
to rise above them and you go on.
What was your reaction the very first
time it happened?
I’m like these things happen in marriages but we think
of reconciliation and getting families involved. It is your
first trial in marriage and nobody gives a guideline
about how things are going to be.
Apart from being part of the Project
Alert, what other steps have you taken
to help women who are battling with
domestic violence?
I talk to them but in the end, I let them know, the
decision is theirs. A friend of mine was involved in this
and after we talk, she will go back to him. No matter
what platform there is, it rests on the individual. It is
what I have arrived at. I still share my story when I
have the chance to.
Aside: Reading Katherine's story gave me the
confidence to share this, dearies. Cos I totally identify
with her.
- My parents too are separated. Ever since I was 4
years old.
I hope to share my story with you guys one of these
days though. It's well.